i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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