If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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