I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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