What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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