if you like me you must not know who I am
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
