I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
