Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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