oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
