Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
