My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
