she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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