Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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