the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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