STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize