she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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