Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
