I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize