This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
