I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
