i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
