I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
