He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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