she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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