he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
