If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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