I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
