The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
