I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
