She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
