Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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