You just made me feel so damn special
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize