those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
