it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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