I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize