i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
