I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
