Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
