did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
