I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
