How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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