OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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