she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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