I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
