He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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