it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
