No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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