while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
