Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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