she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
