Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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