You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
