I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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