I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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