I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
