dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
