we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
