Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize