Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
