You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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