I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
