2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
