my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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